What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: 10 Key Insights

Introduction

If you’re raising an ADHD child, I want to start by saying—you are not alone. I see you. I am you. I’m walking that journey too, raising an awesome (and energetic!) son with ADHD. I could have done things better if I would have understood him earlier. To save you from repeating my mistakes, here are 10 essential tips on what your ADHD child wishes you knew. 

Let me tell you, this road is filled with challenges, unexpected turns, and yes—so much grace.

Some days feel like victories. Other days, you wonder if you’re getting anything right. 

So today, I want to share10 key insights of what I believe our ADHD kids wish we knew—things they might not have the words to say, but deeply feel. I hope these truths remind you that your love, patience, and faith are not in vain.

Each ADHD parenting tip comes with a fitting Bible verse to guide you. And… you can download a printable version at the end of this blog, so you always have access to the 10 things your ADHD child wishes you knew.

I pray these insights will bless you and will prevent your ADHD child from saying in the future, “I wish my parents knew about ADHD.”

And don’t worry, we are all human—we can’t do everything right. But we serve a perfect God, who perfects everything in His time. Both you and your child are in His eternal and loving Father’s hands. 

What does your child with ADHD want you to know?

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If you’re raising an ADHD child, you already know—this isn’t an ordinary parenting journey.

It’s louder, messier, more unpredictable…and yet, filled with moments of deep love, growth, and surprising joy.

I’ll never forget the days when my son, at just 3.5 years old, would scream through Zoom school, copy all the naughty behavior he saw from classmates, and end up throwing things at me because he couldn’t process his emotions. Back then, I had no idea we were dealing with ADHD. I just knew I was exhausted and overwhelmed.

Over time, after the diagnosis, and through prayer, research, and lots of trial and error, I understood what was really going on inside his little mind.

ADHD isn’t just “bad behavior” or “not listening.” It’s a different way of experiencing the world. 

Our kids aren’t trying to make life hard. They’re struggling with things most of us take for granted—like sitting still, handling loud sounds, or dealing with unexpected change. And deep down, what they truly want is to be understood, supported, and loved without judgment.

That’s why I wrote this post with the top 10 things your ADHD child wishes you knew. To give voice to the things our ADHD kids may not be able to express with words, but feel so deeply in their hearts.

These ten insights are a gentle reminder for us, as Christian moms, to parent with both grace and truth—and to see our kids the way God sees them: wonderfully made and full of purpose.

To help prevent that your adult child says “what I wish my parents knew about adhd”, I created an overview of the 10 most important things what your ADHD child wishes you knew. So you are ahead in the game! 

10 Things what kids with ADHD wish you knew

1. “I’m not doing this on purpose.”

Let’s be honest—when your child is bouncing off the walls, interrupting conversations, melting down over small things, or flat-out ignoring instructions, it’s easy to think they must be doing this to test you.

But the truth is, they’re not.

I had to learn that the hard way. 

When they didn’t listen and simply continued whatever they did, honestly, it made me mad! (Yes, I am a human too…). 

Before my son was diagnosed, I often felt helpless and confused. During the COVID lockdown, he was just 3.5 years old and forced into Zoom schooling. Those mornings were a nightmare. He couldn’t sit still, copied all the bad behavior he saw from other kids, and became physically aggressive with me. I had bruises on my legs and arms—and no answers.

It wasn’t defiance. It was ADHD.

ADHD brains are wired differently. Our kids aren’t choosing chaos. They’re navigating a world that often overwhelms their system.

Knowing that helped me swap frustration for compassion—and discipline for connection. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

It’s not defiance; it’s the way their brain works. Patience and understanding are the keys to connection.

2. “My brain is different—not broken.”

When my son was younger, he got labeled “aggressive,” “hyper,” and “can’t control his impulses.” I’ll never forget the sting of hearing those words from his first school. They eventually sent him home and didn’t want him back. It was heartbreaking.

But let me tell you—our kids are not broken. They’re beautifully and uniquely made by God.

My son is incredibly smart. His intelligence doesn’t always show on paper, but it shines when he builds, imagines, and tells stories.

ADHD doesn’t define his worth—God does.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” – Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

ADHD doesn’t define their worth—God’s handiwork does. Every child is beautifully created with purpose.

3. “I need you to see the good in me.”

When every report from school is negative, and your days feel like one correction after another, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. But our kids crave encouragement.

I remember the first time I praised my son for handling frustration well—just a small moment. His face lit up like the sun. From that day on, I made it a point to catch him doing something right.

Let’s be their loudest cheerleaders. Let’s speak life into them, even when the world only sees their struggles.

“The tongue has the power of life and death.” – Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)

Our encouragement can lift them up. Choose to see and speak life, even in the smallest victories.

4. “I’m trying harder than you think.”

Starting tasks, staying focused, and remembering instructions are big challenges for ADHD kids. My son wants to listen, wants to follow through, but sometimes his brain is already racing ahead or off track.

When mornings were hard, I used to think he wasn’t trying. But now I know—he was trying. Just in a way that looked different from what I expected.

Celebrate small wins.

Getting dressed without reminders? Win.

Staying at the table for dinner? Win.

Lord Jesus doesn’t ask for perfection—just progress.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Encouragement for both mom and child to keep going, even when the progress is slow.

5. “I need you to be my safe place.”

Our kids face rejection in many places—classrooms, playgrounds, sometimes even at church. They don’t need their home to be another place where they’re misunderstood.

After my son’s old school pushed him out, we moved him to a new one. It wasn’t perfect, but they didn’t give up on him. They supported him and looked for ways to help. They truly cared—and that’s what matters! 

At home, I knew I had to become his emotional anchor.

The psychiatrist taught us not to reward negative behavior with attention. That helped.

But even more powerful was when I imagined my son as a grown man—one who never learned to express his feelings, only anger. That thought changed me. I began gently teaching him how to talk about emotions. And it worked.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1 (NIV)

Be your child’s refuge, mama. They need you more than anyone.

6. “I feel things deeply.”

ADHD kids aren’t just active—they’re emotional. Sometimes their reactions seem “too much,” but they’re actually feeling a lot all at once.

There were days my son cried or screamed over what seemed like nothing. And one heartbreaking night, he bit his hand out of frustration because he couldn’t sleep (a side effect of his ADHD meds). That’s when we turned to melatonin under doctor guidance—and it helped.

They’re not overreacting. They’re overwhelmed.

Your calm presence can make all the difference.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

A reminder that God understands their deep emotions and is close to them in their overwhelm.

7. “God has a purpose for me too.”

It’s easy to get caught in the struggle—school battles, sleep issues, appetite problems, the constant advocating. But don’t forget: our children were created by God, on purpose, for a purpose.

Even when math is still a struggle, even when homework ends in tears—God is not done with our kids.

My son recently passed almost all his assessments for the first time, thanks to new accommodations at school (and a different approach at home). That was a miracle.

He’s still that little boy who couldn’t sit through Zoom class. But now, he’s growing, thriving, learning. And so are we.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord… ‘plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

No matter the struggles, your child has a God-given purpose. Their future is filled with hope, and so is yours. 

8. “I love to hug and snuggle.”

It might surprise you, but many ADHD kids are incredibly affectionate—when they feel safe and connected.

My son can be a ball of chaos one minute, and the next he’s wrapping his arms around me, melting into a cuddle puddle. These moments remind me that behind the wild energy is a tender heart craving warmth and reassurance.

When I slow down and meet him with open arms, it calms both of us. A hug always serves as a reset button.

“Let the little children come to me… and he took them in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.” – Mark 10:14,16 (NIV)

Jesus embraced children. Your child needs that embrace, too—again and again.

9. “I don’t like loud noises.”

Even though ADHD kids can be loud themselves (oh yes, they can!), many are surprisingly sensitive to sound.

My son often covers his ears when the vacuum’s on or when the classroom gets noisy. It overwhelms his nervous system, and suddenly everything spirals. Even a truck passing the road outside school is a trigger for distraction. 

Understanding this has helped me create quieter, calmer spaces when needed. Noise-canceling headphones, gentle music, or just a few minutes in a peaceful spot can make a world of difference (he loves spending time alone in the bathroom…to the dismay of others😀). 

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15 (NIV)

There is strength in quietness—for both you and your child.

10. “I don’t like sudden or unexpected changes.”

Transitions are hard.

Whether it’s leaving the playground, switching tasks, or hearing, “We’re not going to the store after all,” my son often reacts with frustration, panic, or tears.

ADHD brains thrive on predictability—even when they seem spontaneous and wild.

Now I try to prepare him for what’s coming next. Visual schedules, countdowns, or simply saying, “We’re leaving in 5 minutes,” helps more than I can say.

“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you… are not consumed.” – Malachi 3:6 (NIV)

Your child finds security in sameness—just as we find peace in the unchanging faithfulness of our God.

Again here, every child is uniquely (and wonderfully) wired; they may have varying desires of what they wish you knew. It can also depend on the age your ADHD child is in. 

What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew Summary

Raising an ADHD child is both a challenge, and a journey filled with grace.

In this blog we explored ten truths from the perspective of our ADHD kids—reminding us they’re not acting out on purpose, their brains are wired differently, and they desperately need us to see the good in them.

We touched on their struggles with emotions, routines, noise, and change, and highlighted their deep need for love, purpose, and understanding. Each point is grounded in real-life stories, honest reflections, and biblical encouragement to help Christian moms parent with both strength and compassion.

If you’d like to go deeper, check out also the book What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew.

Dear mama…

This journey isn’t easy. But you are equipped.

God chose you to be the mother of your ADHD child—not by accident, but by divine design.

You are doing His work. Even when no one sees it. Even when progress feels slow. You are sowing seeds of grace, patience, and unconditional love.

And mama, your child sees it. Feels it. Needs it.

So take heart. You’re not failing. You’re faithfully loving.

And that is more than enough.

👉Download here your 10 things your ADHD child wishes you knew (Pdf printable).

Takeaway What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew

Mama, we’ve just walked through 10 things your ADHD child wishes you knew. I hope their silent heart-cries now feel a little louder—and a little clearer. 

Yes, I know, there are still other things your child wants you to know and understand (😃). But these 10 are the key insights you need.

And, of course, don’t forget every child is different. God created each of us uniquely. Thus, your child may just have some extra things they’d wish you knew. Just take it one step at a time. You will get there. 

You’re not alone in this. And you’re not failing—you’re learning. Every meltdown, every messy morning, every moment you choose connection over correction is a step forward.

Your ADHD child doesn’t need a perfect mom.

They need you. The mom who keeps showing up. The mom who prays through tears. The mom who listens, loves deeply, and leans hard on Jesus.

This road isn’t easy, but it’s satisfying. God chose you for this child. He knew you would fight for them. He knew you’d grow with them. And He promises to walk with you every single step.

So keep going. Keep loving. Keep trusting.

You’ve got this, mama—and more importantly, God’s got you.

Grab here your 10 key insights: What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew (Pdf).

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